The Night I Almost Lost My Cool

Last night was one of those nights. The kind of night that tests every ounce of patience you thought you had left.

Cyrus was inconsolable. He was beyond tired but wouldn’t settle. He wouldn’t nurse (which is usually his sure-fire way to dreamland). He wouldn’t let me put him down. He cried and cried until I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt helpless, frustrated, and overwhelmed all at once.

So I did what so many moms have done before me—I strapped him into his car seat and took him for a drive.

And wouldn’t you know it… as I backed out of the parking spot, he fell asleep. Just like that. After hours of trying everything, a simple car ride did the trick.

The relief was instant, but it came tangled up in a mess of emotions—embarrassment that I couldn’t settle him at home, anger that I had to resort to driving, happiness that he was finally asleep, and pure exhaustion from the rollercoaster of it all. Motherhood is funny like that. You can feel ten emotions at the exact same time and not know which one to sit with.

We drove a big loop around town and came back home. Not long after, Michael pulled in with Lenoxx from her Jiu Jitsu class. (Thank goodness he took her—because with the combine down for a couple days, he actually had the time.) I told him about my failed bedtime attempts and he just gave me that dad smile—and says, “Gotta do what you gotta do.”

As frustrating and exhausting as my evening was, this morning I was greeted by the sweetest sight—Cyrus’s huge gummy smile. It was as if none of the chaos from the night before had ever happened. Babies have that way of resetting everything, even when we’re still carrying the weight of yesterday.

And it hit me: this is the season we’re in. Exhaustion mixed with joy. Frustration tangled up with gratitude. Moments that make you want to cry… followed by moments that make your heart feel so full it could burst.

The truth is, motherhood is never about perfection. It’s about persistence. It’s about showing up, even when you feel like you’re failing. It’s about car rides at 8 p.m. and coffee at 6 a.m. It’s about doing whatever it takes, even if it doesn’t look like the “right” way.

And it’s about remembering that even the hardest nights eventually fade… but the love we have for our little ones never does.

Hot Mess Takeaway

Some nights end with tears, car rides, and cold coffee. Other mornings start with baby smiles, belly laughs, and second chances. That’s the beauty of this hot mess farm life—we may not have it all together, but we’re in it together.