It’s Not About the List (Even Though I Keep Making One Anyway)

To all the moms out there with a list a mile long who feel absolutely defeated when nothing gets checked off… I see you. I’ve been you. I AM you. Probably right now.

Every morning I try. I really do. I make a plan in my head (or on paper, or on my phone… because apparently one list isn’t enough).

TO DO: Fold the laundry that’s been living in bins in the kitchen for two days. Clean the bathrooms. Vacuum. Wash the floors. You know—the usual “I will absolutely not finish this” list.

And then on top of that?

Feed the kids. Feed yourself (optional, apparently). Pack lunches. Get kids ready for school. Put the baby down for a nap at just the right time or risk complete household chaos. The list never ends. It just keeps multiplying… like socks in the dryer that somehow never come out in pairs.

But you know what my husband made me realize?

It’s not about the list.

It’s not about what I get done in a day.

One day he said to me, “Don’t make a plan for the day because it won’t happen anyway.” And honestly… rude. But also accurate. (There I go, admitting my husband is right about something. Please don’t tell him.)

About 99.9% of the time, when I make a plan and a list, it all goes sideways anyway. Someone needs something. Someone spills something. Someone cries. Someone needs a snack immediately or the world might actually end.

What I can do, though, is be present for my children.

A few weeks ago, my husband sent me a video of a baby happily babbling away. The caption went something like this:

Mom: “I got nothing done today. I feel terrible. I’m a bad mom.”

Baby: “I have the best mom. She fed me, played with me, and snuggled me.”

The day he sent it was a day I desperately needed it. One of those days where I had a plan, it completely fell apart, and I was frustrated and mad at myself for not “doing enough.” I cried when I watched it—not because I’m dramatic (okay maybe a little), but because I was overwhelmed.

And it gave me relief.

Relief knowing my husband sees me trying. That he sees me showing up. That he understands that some days my best looks like survival mode with a side of coffee.

Some days, being a good mom looks like:

• Pajamas all day

• Crumbs on the floor

• Dishes in the sink

• And a happy, loved, fed baby

And you know what? That counts.

It is OKAY if you don’t get the list done.

It is OKAY to feel defeated.

Just don’t live there. (I say this lovingly, as someone who absolutely visits that place more than I should.) Stand up. Straighten your crown—because yes, you are wearing one—and carry on… even if all you’ve done that day is exist.

Because existing while raising tiny humans? That’s work.

I see you.

I feel you.

You are perfect just the way you are.

And you are a damn good mom. 💛