What It’s Really Like Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

hotmessfarm
Dec 7, 2025
3 min read

It’s hard.

It’s messy.

It’s exhausting.

Yet somehow, people still have the audacity to say, “You get to stay home all day… that must be so nice. That’s so easy.”

If you have never experienced being a stay-at-home mom… respectfully… keep your mouth shut.

Yes — sometimes it is nice being home with my babies. I won’t deny that. I get the cuddles. I get the moments. I get to watch the milestones happen in real time. And I am deeply grateful for that.

But the ugly side?

The unfiltered side?

The side no one really talks about?

That’s the part people don’t see.

I have three beautiful children — two in school and one currently attached to my boob like it’s his full-time job. Every single weekday morning feels like a full-blown race against the clock. I’m trying to wake the girls up, make lunches, feed Cyrus before he completely loses his ever-loving mind, and get him down for a nap before everything goes off the rails.

School mornings feel like a marathon:

waking kids,
packing lunches,
herding small humans to the door,
hunting for missing boots,
fighting with snow pants,
zipping jackets,
remembering backpacks,
locating the one mitten that always disappears.

Half the time we’re late because someone forgot something… and sometimes that someone is me. Not even going to lie. I try so hard to get the girls to school on time — but some days? It just ain’t happening.

And after school drop-off, I don’t come home and “relax.”

There are dishes piled in the sink.

Mountains of laundry.

Floors that need sweeping and vacuuming.

Bathrooms that should’ve been cleaned three days ago.

And a to-do list that never, ever ends.

Right now, at this very moment, I have three full bins of clean clothes that need to be folded and put away. And every single time I start, someone needs something… or someone’s crying… or someone has spilled something… or Cyrus wakes up early from his nap like, “Hi Mom, what are we doing?”

The interruptions are constant. The tasks never fully get finished. And the mental load is heavy.

And some days… I hit a wall.

There have been days where I am so overstimulated that my own skin feels too tight. The noise. The mess. The constant “Mom, Mom, Mom.” The touching. The pulling. The needing. It all piles up until my brain just can’t take another second.

And yes — I have had full mental breakdowns. Tears. Anger. Overwhelm. Everything in between.

Not because I don’t love my kids — I love them more than anything.

But because I am human. I am tired. I am touched out. I am running on fumes some days. And sometimes the only way my body knows how to release it all… is to fall apart for a minute.

Then I wipe my face, take a breath, and keep going.

Because that’s what moms do.

And the day doesn’t magically slow down when the girls get home from school.

It’s after-school snacks.

Or early supper.

Because then we’re off to dance… or hockey… or something with a schedule and a deadline.

So here we go again — shooing kids out the door, trying to be on time, usually running five to ten minutes behind, yelling, “WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!” while holding a baby on my hip.

Being a stay-at-home mom is exhausting in ways I never could have imagined.

And I’ll be the first to say it — I give absolute props to the moms who:

keep a perfectly organized house,
always look put together,
have matching outfits on their kids,
and somehow manage to keep their children looking less feral than mine.

You are the standard. You are the dream. You are the Pinterest moms I aspire to be.

But some days?

Some days I just climb aboard the Hot Mess Express, take my coffee cold, my hair in a mom bun, herd my feral children out the door, and show up late looking like we barely survived — because honestly… sometimes we barely did.

And that’s the truth.

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t easy.

It’s work.

It’s constant.

It’s thankless some days.

It’s beautiful and chaotic and draining and full of love all at once.

And maybe that’s the part people forget.

We don’t stay home because it’s easy.

We stay home because it matters.

So the next time someone tells a stay-at-home mom that she has it easy…

Just know — she probably worked harder before 9 a.m. than most people will all day.

And if that mom looks tired…